Zencare Couples Study 2019

Zencare.co, the simplest way to find quality therapists, released a survey today revealing insight into the current state of modern relationships. 

The study shows that the top issues today’s couples face include money, intimacy, jealousy, and screentime. One thing couples do seem to be on the same page about is politics, with only 7% of respondents reporting it as a point of contention.

Survey participants also disclosed how they typically work out their relationship issues. The final tally revealed that more couples decide to drink together than to talk about their issues. Other top solutions included asking friends and family for advice, taking a trip together, and seeing a couples counselor.

When asked what they would sacrifice for one year to fix their relationship issues, half of participants opted to sacrifice alcohol and Instagram. Three out of four admitted they wouldn’t sacrifice their cell phone to fix their relationship issues. 

Individuals also answered questions on their relationship history and habits. For additional context and visual assets, read Zencare’s accompanying blog post. 

Findings from the 2019 Zencare Couples Study include:

While money is a top concern for couples of all ages, other issues vary by generation: millennials face more intimacy and screentime issues, while older couples face political strife 

Some things never change: Money and jealousy are issues for couples across the lifespan. But for other hot topics, such as screentime and politics, generational gaps start to emerge. 

Here are the top relationship issues that individuals face today, by age bracket: 

• Money: Finances are the #1 relationship issue for all age groups. 43% of polled individuals indicated money as an issue in their relationship.

• Intimacy: Millennials report intimacy issues more than any other age group.  These findings speak to what social scientists have dubbed the “sex recession,” or the belief that millennials are having significantly less physical intimacy than preceding generations did in their heyday.

• Screentime: Nearly one in three millennials say screentime is a relationship problem. This demographic cohort faces this phenomenon (often referred to as “phubbing”) at more than triple the rate of their oldest polled counterparts.

• Jealousy: Jealousy is an issue for 1 in 5 couples. Though jealousy was indicated as an issue across all demographic groups, it is the least common among Gen X-ers (35-44 year olds).

• Politics: At just 3%, millennials are the least likely to cite politics as a relationship issue. Other generations, like Gen X and Baby Boomers, face this issue at a rate closer to 8%.

Couples are more likely to talk to friends about their issues than they are to each other; others try new methods, like drinking or traveling together

In those times when love isn’t all you need, many couples resort to traditional routes of reconciliation – while others prefer slightly less conventional methods. 

Here are the most popular ways that respondents work out their relationship issues:

*Multiple choice survey question

• Asking friends & family for advice: Nearly one-third of people ask their friends and family for romantic advice, making it the most common method of relationship reconciliation.

• Drinking together: Respondents aged 18-54 are more likely to drink together to work out issues than they are to talk about them.

• Making the relationship open (non-monogamous): Are young people more… open-minded? 10% of 18-24 year olds turn to open relationships, which is a considerably higher rate than even the next generation (millennials), at 4%.

Couples counseling: The best-kept secret for a happy relationship 

Though only 1 in 10 couples see a therapist for their shared issues, those who do also seem satisfied in their relationship. 

• 4 in 5 couples who have seen a therapist for their relationship issues report being “very happy” or “happy” in their relationship.

“Couples counselors can offer professional guidance backed by evidence-based expertise,” says Zencare CEO, Yuri Tomikawa, “Whether couples are wanting to work out tough issues, reconnect, or looking to take their love life to the next level, therapists can help them reach the relationship happiness they are seeking.”

What sacrifices are people willing to make for their relationships?  

Let’s start with what respondents won’t give up: Their cell phones. In fact, people are more likely to relinquish alcohol, Amazon, and even vacation time than they are their mobile devices. 

Here’s what respondents would give up for one year to fix their relationship issues: 

*Multiple choice survey question

• More people would give up Instagram (48%) than Amazon (40%) to fix their love lives. 

• 3 out of 4 people were not willing to sacrifice their cell phone for their relationship. 

• One-quarter of people wouldn’t give up alcohol, Instagram, or their Amazon membership to fix their relationship issues.

Other interesting observations about modern relationships 

• 1 in 5 millennials met their partner on an app. 

• One-third of all respondents met their partner through friends, making it the most popular option.

• 3 out of 5 of the happiest couples said “I love you” in under 3 months. 60% of those polled who reported they were “very happy” in their relationship also said “I love you” less than 90 days after they started dating.

• Is the fine art of meeting your S.O. at a bar going extinct? Millennials are three times less likely to have met their partner at a bar than baby boomers.

About Zencare

Zencare​, the most trusted service to find a therapist online, empowers therapy seekers with a platform to watch introductory provider videos, book free initial calls, and filter for fit based on insurance or cost, specialties, and more.

With 700+, fully vetted top-quality providers across NYC, Boston, Chicago, Seattle, and Rhode Island, this female-founded Brooklyn-based startup is quickly expanding nationwide.